Seems like everything came up all at once as soon as I got back from my trip home. It wasn’t even a proper holiday, just a couple of days when I wasn’t working! This is about the first time I’ve had space to do anything but sleep after work.

So, I’m going out tonight with Charlie and Pree and I don’t know what we’ll be doing.

Busy, busy, busy.

Late night working last night, looks to be the same again tonight. At least the load is intermittent today. I’ve time to spare a little thought this way between tests as long as nothing goes wrong.

…

It would happen right when I said that. Nevermind, fixed now. Coupla hours troubleshooting lost there, not that it shows.

I haven’t tried writing at work before. This is coming out weird. I think I’ll keep it anyway. Where was I? My trip home, before work caught up with me this week.

Woke up a bit late, not surprising since I was up so late with Cherik. So I didn’t get to say hi to Charlie and Ember when they got home. They ended up surprising me in bed with a hug instead. That was a great way to wake, even if I’m not twelve anymore.

Meals were a strange echo of my childhood. Now when we talked of our lives it was no longer only our parents who spoke of work and the people known through it, even if our lives are different enough that there’s more variety now than then. I’d noticed this shift happening but suddenly it seemed very complete. Only Lian is still in school and he won’t be for much longer.

I haven’t spent much time in Hanibah since I left to study in Saralies. Mostly when I visit these days there is not enough time to see my family and my hometown. Family wins every time. This time there was plenty of time to see the town, alone and together. It was strange to see so many little islands of unfamiliarity amongst so much I grew up with. Lian didn’t even notice most of them when I pointed them out. I guess that is the difference most of a decade makes in perspective.

Rel wasn’t around this time. Extended engagement on the other side of the planet. Melissa was about, though. But she changed her name! Melificent now. At least I still get to call her Mel, heh. We spent a long time catching up with each other the day before I left again, at that tree where we used to play and later lounge. It used to be on the edge of town and now it is in a park, and decorated.

I think about moving back home sometimes. I haven’t needed to be in Saralies since I graduated and it’s not as if it would be any harder to get to work. Maybe even a bit easier. If this visit has made anything clear to me it’s that those thoughts are mostly stirred by nostalgia for times I can’t recapture. If I moved back to Hanibah now it would be in search of something not there anymore and that would be a disaster. I won’t do that.

Besides, I’ve fallen in love with my Saralies by the sea too.

Back from work, back from home where I’ve been visiting the past couple of days, back in my apartment. I only stopped here after work at the end of last week long enough to collect some things before dashing off again and home.

I’ve missed seeing the sun set from Hanibah. The road curves down to the bottom of town and out over rolling hills, so from up top where I arrived there was golden light spilling out over shadow ahead to wash over my home like honey. I’ve missed it. Used to try and catch it every day, watch the light shift and flow over everything.

I stopped to watch a bit and see the shadows lengthen, light fade. Nearly got bumped into by the woman coming after me, since I’d forgotten I was still so close to the port. I didn’t recognise her so I said hi after I’d apologised.

She wasn’t anyone I’d've known. Just stopping by for dinner with a friend and since we both had places to be we did not talk longer than it took to say so but it was fun while it lasted.

Shadows were growing long and the sun about to set and Lian met me at the door again. He seemed taller than last time. This time we’d arranged things better and everyone was home who was going to be home, or would be soon.

I’ve missed home. It was cosy to be there again, surrounded by my siblings, talking and listening and catching up as the world grew dark around us. I was only the centre of attention for a little while, before I made Dizzy and Mangus talk about what they’d been up to. Again. I think they must have been over it already with everyone else, but I made up for it by going over my stuff again the next day with Ember and Charlie.

Cherik was there on the first evening, which was great. She’s been caught away the last few times I’ve visited so we had a lot to talk about. We spent a couple of hours sitting on that old log under the stars, where we used to talk whenever I had problems as a child.

It was not like old times. It never can be again. But it did have something of what used to be, blended with what has changed to become now. I loved every minute of my visit, but it made me so very wistful for before.

Mmf. That’s enough for now. More later.

Just got back from seeing Drawing Blank with Charlie. It wasn’t as good as some of the recordings I’ve seen but I still loved every minute of it. They trialed a few new pieces too, which were pretty rough but hold a lot of promise. Right now, I’m feeling filled with hope after hearing it.

It was great fun being out with Charlie. I’d like to do that again. Can’t be too soon though, since I am visiting home again soon. Maybe after I get back. Oh! And we ran into Amber from the party there. They seem to know each other pretty well.

Oh well, I better get to sleep.

Lovely day to myself today. Played the audio component of Cartesian Bullets’ catalogue loud, diagramming thaumic connections for a project of mine neglected too long. Out my window Saralies was washed in overcast grey with slate sea to mirror, and when the sun set my apartment was lit in threads of silver and gold, red and blue and green spotted connections.

So cosy in here. Music, lights, puzzle and beauty. Today is a happy day.

This has been a busy week so far. A couple of days after the party I ran into Charlie at work. We talked and decided to go to lunch together the next day and then that went so well that next week we are going to see Drawing Blank perform. That should be fun. I haven’t seen them live yet.

The next day I hung out with Mandy and Hanna. We didn’t have any particular plans so we just met up at Kite Park in the morning. We sat around there for a bit, then sort of wandered through Saralies the rest of the day, stopping wherever caught our interest. I ended up with a new coat; winter is coming after all.

We stumbled across one of Hanna’s favourite restaurants at just the right time for lunch. He says it was a coincidence. I’d be more suspicious but the food was delicious.

Mandy found a gorgeous new skirt and we finished the day at the Silver Bow. I love that place. You can’t really see the harbour from there, just hints of glinting sparkles especially at sunset, but the food is spectacular and so is the view over Saralies.

The day after that I went to dinner with Arnault and Pree and Alex. I don’t think I mentioned Alex before. She does great work, but seems terribly shy. Pree told me the last time they persuaded her to go anywhere with them was half a year ago. She’s cute too. Alex was pretty quiet through dinner but I got the impression that is what she is comfortable with. The other two were loud enough to make up for her anyway, heh.

I still haven’t showed Pree Saralies yet but I did bring it up, she says she’s never been herself. We’ll sort it out soon.

The atmosphere seemed much more relaxed than it has so far. I think I am really starting to settle in here. I like Carousel-Kabutah. I like Saralies and my place here. And I love the work I am doing now.

Whee, that was fun.

Just got back from that party I mentioned last night. I’m not sure what I was expecting but it turned out pretty good except for the bit where I thought I was going to fall over the railing.

Great view though, wide-swept over Carousel-Kabutah with cells glittering or dark by turns. I thought I could even pick out the restaurant we ate at a couple of weeks ago, with its quietly lit lake. That was when I nearly fell actually, leaning out to see better; good thing I caught myself or it could’ve been a bit awkward.

It was the same place I saw, actually.

The place was lovely. I met up with Arnolt and Pree outside, by the fountain, before heading up. They filled me in a bit on who would be there and when the doors opened I nearly forgot to breathe. From high places the world is laid out to see, to reach out and touch, and there on that platform under the stars it was as beautiful as ever. I wondered if this party were more important than I’d been led to believe.

The stars were not as bright as the ones of my childhood but it was still striking being introduced to Marik with him silhouetted by the Morgan starburst region, the glow of Vrrrk softly washing overhead. I was nervous meeting him, and Charlie, and Amber, and everyone else from different departments, but being amidst such ethereal beauty helped calm me, and we got along surprisingly well. Danced, even, on that platform high under the stars.

I’m actually looking forward to seeing them again. I know Charlie at least I’ve seen around the place a time or two, must say hi next time.

Very different from my farewell party in Saralies, but a wonderful, lovely experience. And now it is very late and I must sleep.

I guess I got a bit ahead of myself earlier. We finished in time after all. It just looked like we might be delayed by an unexpectedly large administrative tangle. The rest was simpler than we thought though so that made up for it.

Anyway, I’m getting an early night tonight since tomorrow there’s a bit of an office party. It’s not in honour of us or anything, just a bit of a coincidence. But a pretty good one I think.

… This might take a bit longer than we thought.

Guess who has a new project? Not really new new but it is a definite change in approach for the project I came in on. Yup, our proposal got accepted. Fortunately it won’t really require anything new in the way of resources so we just need a couple of days to make the shift.

I’m so excited!

Wow this past week has been hectic. I’ve been a bit secretive about it but Arnolt had an absolutely brilliant idea at the beginning of the week and we’ve been working way overtime to find out if it would actually work.

Yesterday I was really nervous while we were presenting it to our supervisor. And we don’t even get to find out until next week!

I really needed to unwind today so I went swimming. Had the pool to myself a couple of hours so I got to play my favourites of the Riemeld Phases and bask in sweeping panes of coloured light. That helped a lot. Then a family from one of the other apartments came in and I had to go. Gave them a wave.

And mostly after that I lay on grass with eyes closed and basked in the wind.

So, yeah. There is stuff going on I’m not supposed to talk about and stuff I can talk about that isn’t much. Haven’t decided what I’m doing tomorrow.

Wow. Guess I got pretty caught up in work. We’ve been working and talking well after leaving for home most of the past few nights. But I probably should not go into detail on that.

Yesterday I decided to take the day completely off. Not just because I wasn’t working anyway, but I thought it would be nice to spend the day with Saralies again. I’ve been spending a lot of time in Carousel-Kabutah lately and that city is wonderful but I missed walking the wide white streets of Saralies, turning a bend to see hills sweeping down to the wide ocean.

I met up with Alliatte in the afternoon. We went and had an early dinner under trees as the sun headed down. The wind was strong and and I got caught up and swirled our table settings a bit, which was a delightfully frivolous use of all this expensive equipment. Then Allie set Samelle’s “Summer in the Field” to playing and we danced until the stars came out.

Music is often better when shared.

And Pree has found the data she was after so it is back to after-work work for me!

Maybe it’s a bit premature for me to be saying so but I think this transfer is one of the best things I’ve done. Not like I didn’t say the same on the first day and it’s only been a week but I am loving it there.

Anyway, I went and caught up with Seville and the rest of the old team today. He says they’ve got a replacement for me starting next week, which is great that they’ve been able to find someone so fast.

Apparently our contributions from the end of last week are working well too. I’m glad I got to finish my time there by contributing something useful.

Can’t wait to see how next week goes!

Just got back from dinner with Arnolt and Pree. They’ve been very welcoming of me, which is a pretty handy trait to have in your teammembers, hehe.Well, we got so caught up we nearly didn’t notice the end of the day. It seemed only natural to keep going so we took ourselves over to a restaurant Pree picked out, by the side of a small lake that made up the centre of one cell. She said it was one of her favourites.

The food was delicious and the water was very still, lightly illuminated by lanterns all round. I was so absorbed in excitement I barely noticed it most of the time, but when I did it was beautiful.

I think we made some good progress tonight. I must remember to invite Pree back to Saralies for dinner by the harbour; I think she would love it.

Still getting the hang of this place. That big window onto the grounds can be distracting, although today Arnolt took me over to Zander building to see some experimental work.

Of course it wasn’t much different in practice from the test runs we conducted back in Saralies and we certainly didn’t have to be there for it but oh, wow was it thrilling! Seeing the hooks drain in, power flow and twist and shape and finally sputter out because of a misconfigured thread… Well, I may have done something just like it a thousand times before but I still wanted to rush in and tweak it. More, I was inspired, that this was something new which almost worked for the first time, right in front of me, and I wanted to do that too.

Make something, discover something new. Get at the roots of everything and see them shine.

I definitely like this place. Carousel-Kabutah is just as open in design as Saralies but I didn’t notice at first because so much of that space is filled with gardens and green and growing things.

We flitted across cells and Mitt showed me what she loved in each, her favourite theatres, music halls, the best food and where she liked to go for quiet or friends. We had all day for this and it still seemed too short. At least now I have a bit of an idea of my way around.

This time we got to see sunset from the towers too. Standing on high as golden light filled the air and shone all round on white stone, watching rolling grass and trees on hills fall dark and stepping inside for our evening meal. I have not seen anything like that since moving to Saralies where sunlight sparkles on water and it was different still to home, with its own beauty.

When the last light had gone we stepped inside for dinner. Later I came home stepping light and smiling. Another reason to rejoice at this transfer.

Today’s supposed to be my day off but I’m in Carousel-Kabutah anyway. Mitt wanted to show me around last night and I ended up I staying at her place.

This city is different from Saralies. Somewhere between it and home. A bit strange being in a city without an ocean nearby. Didn’t realise I’d made that association but I guess it makes sense; apart from my home town Saralies is the only place I’ve really spent any time. Kind of funny that I want so much to travel, see, explore and never spared the time to visit my own world firsthand. Maybe I should take some vacation time and fix that. Er, not immediately.

She showed me through some of Carousel-Kabutah’s cells, like miniature towns within the city. We didn’t get up to the top of the hill though, that’s a shame. I would have loved to see the last light of day drop below the horizon. What we saw of it shining atop the towers as evening fell was beautiful.

Maybe tonight. Today, Mitt is showing me some more of Carousel-Kabutah.

Got into actual work today. Gonna take me a while to get completely up to speed but at least I’m here.

Still bouncing all over the place and grinning at everything.

Phewf. So that was my first day in research.

I was actually pretty calm this morning. Not really worried anymore whether I was doing the right thing or not. I was sure it was. Lovely, clear day, early morning and no crowds. I showed up early, just in case. Didn’t have any problems at the door. Not that I was expecting any but, wow, that would have been a bad way to start. Getting locked out of your own job?

Anyway, I didn’t actually get much done today. Mostly being shown around. They have a really nice break room. We do, gotta get used to that. The building too. Well, the old building was lovely too. I guess I traded a harbour view for a garden and wooded hills. Reminds me a bit of home, except these ones are nearer and tamer.

Oh! And I had lunch with Mitt. Lovely sitting out with her in the sun. We made some plans for a few days from now and she filled me in on some details of the situation my supervisor didn’t mention. Mostly because they weren’t directly work-related.

Well, can’t stop to ramble any longer, I’ve got a lot of information to soak up.

I feel like I should be saying farewell to Saralies. Silly of me; I’m still living here, but I’ve been hit with a lot of nostalgia for the place to mingle with my excitement this week.

Saralies is where I studied, it’s where I’ve worked since then. Really it is the only place I’ve known apart from home. This is a lot like how I felt when I came here: so thrilled about learning to see – really see – but frightened too about leaving behind everything I knew. It was not much of a risk, really. Home was never more than a thought away.

This time is even less of a step. I will still be living here, just working somewhere else.

I guess I’m worried I’ve built up this transfer too much in my mind, that I’m expecting more from it than it could ever be. I don’t think I have. It isn’t the way forward, just a step in that direction.

Maybe everyone has worries like this before making a change in their life. Maybe not. I’ll find out how things are when I start, and I am looking forward to that.

Haha, wow. Is it really this late? Good thing everything is already taken care of and I’ve got nothing to do today. My friends insisted we celebrate so we got together at my apartment and had a bit of a gathering. Not that rowdy, ‘cuz my friends and I don’t really do rowdy but they did keep me up until the sun. Mostly just talking, reminiscing, sharing ourselves.

Totally worth changing jobs for, may do it again soon.

Today was my last day. I didn’t want it to be sad but when you are saying goodbye to people you like and probably won’t be seeing much of anymore I guess it can’t be helped.

Work was slow. Lots of long, heartfelt conversations and not much productivity. They did like my design. And Seville had had a brilliant idea too! Really if I weren’t leaving it would have been the big thing of the day. As it is I’ll have to keep tabs on the project just to see what comes of it.

We all went out to dinner after; the whole team and Anthea too. I led them all to the same place Mitt took me a few weeks back (the salad is still delicious). Really it was very lovely. I was tempted to say I would stay after all.

Today I gave my new supervisor a call to check up on some details for next week. Oh, and I called Mitt too. It turns out we won’t be working in the same building but they are both part of the Greenwell Complex at Carousel-Kabutah. And he said he was looking forward to working with me. I don’t think it was just because it is his job.

I’m so excited! I haven’t really been sleeping well since I got the news but who could? At least I can use the time to get in some extra work on our current project before I have to say goodbye to it. Just tonight I finished a design for hooking two of the components together which I think is pretty neat. Tomorrow I’ll see what everyone else thinks of it.

Maybe we were a bit too enthusiastic celebrating. Had to work late to make up time but that’s fine, this new project is pretty fascinating. Shame I have to leave the team just as it’s getting started. Least I’m moving on to something great.

Did I mention I’ll be working with Mitt? Not on the same team, maybe not even the same building but definitely in the same city. We’ve been so scattered since graduating, it will be nice to have that connection again.

I got it! I got my transfer! Anthea told me right before lunch, starting next week I will be working in research. I did manage to stay focused the rest of the day but it was not easy. Especially since the announcement came with a large amount of information I will need to to familiarise myself with before starting.

So nice out in the fresh air. Reann and I had so much fun last night we decided to meet up again today. Right now we are sitting up on Chesa Hill for lunch watching boats on the harbour. There are ducks nearby.

This is great. I haven’t really made time for quiet days like this since I graduated, maybe longer. It’s always been work or idle distractions at home. Or nights out. Those are great but not the same.

It is very pleasant up here, so nice to relax. Things are quiet at work again now that we are finished with our last project. None of that belongs up here anyway. I am going to relax, enjoy the air, enjoy the grass, enjoy the sun, look out over the ocean and the shape of the world with all my my eyes and marvel at the hollows filled with water before me.

And did I mention the ducks?

Haven’t heard back yet. I think that’s a good sign. Anyway I called Reann earlier to see if he’d be up for a night in the city so I really must dash.

I put in for that transfer again. Should go through this time. Meanwhile I still have to get started on these specs.

One day, that’s all I get for rest. One night and half a day for sleep and turns out there are only so many times I can watch Toniette’s farewell series so quickly before burning out on it. I didn’t think that was possible.

My mind is like a band pulled tight right now. So much energy and nowhere to put it. At least testing is done and clear so I should be free to reapply for that research transfer tomorrow.

Urgg. I feel dead. At least that is done with now.

Gonna sleep right through the next two days.

So far the new copy is holding up. Too tired to say more right now.

Yeah, I’m feeling a bit silly right now. Seville finally found a solution to our problem. Turns out the copy we were working with became corrupted somehow. That one is in storage pending further study now and we are working on a copy created fresh from our designs.

So far it looks clean, although we do have to work longer hours to go over everything again if we are going to pass this project in time.

Drat, drat, drat! It didn’t work!

Had to drop out of testing today. I thought maybe I could get at the problem from a different angle. Last night started me wondering if maybe the problem lay in an unrelated part of the array. We hadn’t detected any signals to the problem area previously but perhaps we were looking in the wrong way.

I spent the whole day monitoring the state of the system everywhere but where the problem is located. Not that I made myself deliberately blind to it, but I did remove the probe we had been using as a shield. It was very difficult to get the problem to replicate and when I did there seemed not to be any correspondence at all.

Ah well. Anthea thinks I have enough of an idea that she has given me tomorrow to work on it too.

We went out again tonight, all of us. Amazing. Alliatte managed to talk us into this last week without the rest of us realising what she was doing. I mean, we did all want to go out again but I don’t think anyone noticed it was her idea to go out both nights of the week-end or that it was her idea to have a hillside picnic under the stars.

No one else knew until we arrived together that the hills just outside Saralies are hosting a Crimson Project. They decorated the hillsides with glass-like pillars which chime in tones and pulses of light that seem to call and answer from hill to hill. It was like walking among flickering constellations of music. Alliate said she found out about the display by luck; she does not know how long it will remain in place.

We set up at the best spot we could find to enjoy the show, and saw a handful of other people doing the same or walking around. After we ate we sat and talked awhile of old times, present, and future. I won’t say what my friends talked of, but the sparks of scattered light made me nostalgic for stars I never visited. The Crimson Project brought a little of the alien to now-familiar Saralies and reminded me how much I wish to breathe the air of other worlds, to drink in their souls.

Yes, I want to travel. I know it is not for me, not now, and even if I were offered the chance I might not take it. Maybe after I have some experience honing my skills in R&D I will be ready.

We walked around for a while, taking in as much of the display as we could while we still can. It is not as homogeneous as I first thought. There are patterns in there… I think the only way to see the whole thing might be to view it from a high place and take an image over a long time. I might try that if it is still around on Fourthday.

Mandy wondered if there was any communication involved in the display. If there is none of us could decipher it but maybe he is right. Maybe he is right, maybe the poles are acting in response to one another and not in some pre-programmed or random sequence. And maybe…

Oh, but we stayed too late and I must sleep.

Phewf. Glad I did all my collapsing last night. Might do a bit more now…

Just got back from another night out with everyone. Since I missed out on seeing Hanna live last week we all agreed that we should go bowling this week. I had to play Hanna, of course, and he won, of course. On points. I made up my own secret game in which the person whose ball made the most interesting trail won and since Hanna’s balls always navigate the rings so cleanly and mine always get so tangled and spun around I declared myself winner for fun. So we each won one. And then we all played again once the grudge match was done and I really really needed to laugh like that because the past couple of weeks have been harder on me than I realised.

We roamed the city after our game was done, just as we had done so many nights in years past when we should have been studying at our academies. I like to think our interdisciplinary association gave us an edge; it is not as if we talked of sex and art and dreams exclusively. And Jillian still reaches out for poles as we pass, still lets them change her path.

It was a good night. I wish we had more of those again.

And back to testing and not having the energy to do anything but collapse once I get home. Still haven’t solved whatever is causing that energy drain. It hasn’t recurred but I don’t feel right letting it sit there, lurking. Least so far as we can tell our tests are operating fine. Nothing odd about the probe we could find.

We better work out what is going on before deadline hits.

So we tried my idea today. So far it is ‘working’ but I’m not satisfied with it as a final solution. The problem has only been masked, after all, but unless we find what is actually going on it may have to do.

I just realised maybe something is off about the probe we’re using too. If my idea does work we’re gonna have to run some tests on it to see if it’s doing something it shouldn’t be. It’d be weird if two things were acting up in such a way as to cancel each other out but until we’ve investigated we can’t rule it out.

Thanks Ami Angelwings for putting me on track to think of this, I might have missed something important.

Not really a solution, but I might have a way around the problem. I was so busy pondering what effect the probe might have on our pesky bug, I didn’t realise until this afternoon that since the mere presence of the probe discourages it from reappearing, we may as well just leave it in place. Hopefully it will stop it from happening again or at least catch it if it does.

We’ll find out tomorrow.

Yeah, I was pleased about the delay yesterday. Yesterday, it was nice having a change of pace. Today it’s getting a bit annoying. We still haven’t resolved that power loss yet. We can’t even trigger it reliably yet, let alone replicate it.

Seville’s just as stumped as I am. We spent all day staring at the problem’s locus without seeing anything useful. It acts as if we have a crossed circuit, or one loose nearby where it can wander close enough to cross, but our probes aren’t picking up any potentials. In fact, there never is a problem when we place a probe. I wonder if it is interfering somehow…

We hit a bit of a snag in testing today, hopefully minor. Can’t proceed until we resolve it, though. It was a bit of a relief after the pace of last week.

Urk. Slept right through to yesterday afternoon and missed Hanna’s match. Didn’t realise work was taking this much of me. I need to remember that just because I’m not doing anything physically demanding, it doesn’t mean I’m not straining my brain out. I mean, there were classes at the academy teaching us how to deal with this. My only excuse is nothing I’ve done so far has been this intense. So, uh, I forgot to look after myself. Yup.

Not that testing is particularly complicated, even compared to assembling the system, but we have been running as hard as we can all day every day this week.

Fortunately Hanna was understanding so we went out tonight to celebrate his victory. It was great getting to spend time with everyone again, I haven’t seen anyone but Mitt in, wow, nearly two months. Too bad I couldn’t drag anyone to see Translation with me, but emergencies and obligations take precedence even over once in a lifetime opportunities.

We are all going out again at the end of next week. Not gonna miss this one.

I had a dream last night, one that has stuck with me all day.

It was like I had been shrunk down until I was no bigger than the threads I have been working with the last half year. I was whisked down the glowing golden current of one in a stream of minute bubbles. It carried me along to one of our switching junctions and I saw it in full woven knotted glory, looming over me like a city of sparkling golden lights, before I was swept inside and could see nothing but the light.

It cleared and I saw rolling meadows in flower, blue sky and clouds above. I remember thinking “I’m too small, this is not how it looks, This is not how the emitter works.”

And then I woke up. Yeah, we have been working pretty intensely lately.

Well, I did it. I applied for a transfer to our research division. With all the testing we are doing at the moment I do not expect it to go through this time, but at least I did something. Anthea says she will put it through for me anyway.

Seeing my family again has had me thinking. We’ve always been a far-reaching lot. Dizzy is off working in orbit, Mangus is away on the ocean and Dan has gone entirely. It is even how my family came together.

We were always told stories growing up of our parents’ travels. How far they had ranged and the wonders they had seen,  meeting and the long night stuck on the Rennid station, each drawing strength from the others, settling together in our Hanibah.

We’ve always known that when we are all grown and on our own paths they will leave again to continue seeking. “Our little confluence,” that is how they spoke of the family. Something that comes together for a time, creates something new and scatters again.

And here I am, come to Saralies to learn to see. It’s been seven years now, a little over one since I came to work here. The recovery from my studies has been worth it but I’m still not where I want to be. It is time I moved on.

Not much to say. Work has been very hectic the past few days. Not anything that new or challenging really, we’ve just been very, very busy trying to finish testing before we can proceed.

I’m exhausted.

Sunlight streaming through my window in the morning. It is so fine, so fine, and faster than we know. Still beyond my sight. I took some time to admire the bay and wish it were closer, but not much because today I was visiting my family.

Trip was longer than I expected. Usually there is only a line on ninthday, but I had to wait in line awhile at the station. Should try and get some time off soon so I can visit at leisure and enjoy the scenery, or what is the point of all that space between here and home?

Trip was longer than I expected, but in my rush to be ready I still arrived early. So I took the time to wander round, feel the stones under my feet and walk down old steep main street. It was so good to see again the road curving under my feet, looking out to green fields and mountains far beyond. I always forget how much I miss it.

Ran into Rel while I was walking around. There was not time to catch up then and he was going to be busy in the afternoon, so we sadly put it off.

Lian met me at the door, he said mum was home and dad would be later, but Cherik was out on business and could not get away. Most of our siblings were out too, except Derri and Karl. And Lian of course but he is still in school. We really need to start coordinating these things better. Least we had a better chance to catch up individually, all those little details we don’t quite share in our normal networked interactions.

And after I returned home, I spent a few hours catching up with Rel. He showed me around a virtual environment he was designing for a client – I had no idea that is what he is doing now! – and time got away from us so now I must finish quickly and sleep.

Went out with Mitt tonight. We decided to meet in the afternoon and make a bigger event of it than we had planned.

We met up at Parsi Square and hung out for a while enjoying the air and passers by. Got into an argument with a couple about whether Malik really deserves to have a statue there. I didn’t say much since she is more of a Saraliesan figure than a global one but it was still fun. Afterward we walked out the open side of the Square and strolled the waterfront while the sun set.

I think we both got a lot out of that conversation. It’s something we haven’t done face to face in weeks, although I was a bit distracted watching the harbour fountain. Those always grab me, like fire. Good thing it was around the bend and out of easy sight when we ate or I would not have been able to enjoy the salad (Since when do those taste so good? Must go back there soon).

We got chased out a couple of hours after we finished eating, so rapt in conversation and catching up there were tears in our eyes from all the laughter. Oh, not really chased out! But they were sure glad to see us stop taking up that table.

Mitt told me earlier she had a surprise. It turned out to be a quick jaunt around the harbour. We scurried hurriedly and maybe a little tipsily over to pier 37 where the little skiff she had booked was waiting for us. It was nearly as lovely, skimming over water by moonlight, as seeing Translation live and I really did not think I would be saying that about anything so soon.

Salt water sprayed our faces and – yes! – our path took as close to the fountain as allowed and, oh, the detail, you could not imagine. It is so fine-grained I almost lost myself. Haha, yes, Mitt really did have to shake me back to awareness of the rest of the world. Never been so close to one before, no matter how I have tried.

And when we were far out from land and there was no one but us, and Mitt had asked me to check for anything that might hear, she told me something secret. But that is all I shall say.

I feel curious… both charged and heavy hearted. But now I must sleep.

Looking back I see I have been saying a lot of negative stuff lately. Really surprised me when I noticed it. I think it is because negativity is just plain easier than positivity. Except at work because positive is- ah, never mind. Anyway, I guess I have been writing more about my disappointments and frustrations because I need some place to vent them. If I am feeling filled with joy about the universe I can just shout that out or go out with my mates and celebrate. If someone is getting on my nerves, well, yeah, I mostly just go yell at them, but inanimate objects hurt when I kick them. Plus the repairs come out of my salary. Yup-yup, easier by far to rant and rave into the ether than holding things in or going on a stompy rampage.

I do still love my job, mind. I love it SO MUCH, it is like having my eyes opened after a lifetime of having them closed, like my blood has been replaced with a current of pure vitality that lets me reach out and touch the world across every void, lets me fly. But as much as I love Saralies, and this city has been SO good to me since I moved here, I do want to see other places, other wonders too. Because I can, it feels like I can see everything now, so that is what I need to do.

So, yuh. I’m gonna try and find something positive to say for a change. After all, what is the point of representing myself to them as cares to know if I don’t actually represent myself?